Chapter 7
Destination: Adulthood
The whole process of growing into adulthood (known as puberty) is gradual and individual and can be very confusing to everyone involved. Parents, siblings, friends and classmates may find themselves surprised by changes in their relationship to a pubescent teenager, as a result of the changes that are taking place. Teens may even be confounded themselves by those changes; irritated by some things, impatient at others; an increase in capabilities coupled perhaps with insecurity regarding appearance and social standing.
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The first steps of adulthood are also the first steps towards becoming a man or a woman; until this age, there have been minor differences between girls and boys, but now those differences will gradually become greater and more obvious.
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The differences between young men and young women in adolescence reflect the eventual differences as adults.
What are those differences? The obvious differences are physical, but what else?
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Moreover, as the body matures and the differences are more notable, teens may start to regard others as something beyond simply friends, classmates or neighbors. Yet, how is it possible to understand the changes someone else is undergoing when one can barely grasp the changes that are taking over ones own life?
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The first (tricky) step is obviously to acknowledge the changes and to make an effort to be aware of them. It is not always easy, in the heat of a moment, to recognize the cause of our feelings and actions, however, by reflecting on them later, it is possible to gain perspective and consider whether the behavior may have been influenced by new elements. Whether one considers ones actions as justified or not, it is important to be open to the possibility that our decision-making may have been influenced or exaggerated by the changes that are taking place.
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The second step, also difficult, is to remember that everyone is not changing the same way and at the same pace. Friends may start earlier or develop faster; it is not a competition and it does not reflect any superiority, just genetics. There is no cause to be frustrated by the individual pace of change. Eventually, everyone pretty much goes through the same process.
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The third step is to gather information in order to reduce distress and doubt. There is a wealth of public sources, and you may be able to speak with someone much closer (parents, older siblings and other relatives), about dealing with the challenges of puberty. The more you know about what you and your friends are going through, the better position you'll be in to cope with them and understand.
