Activity 7
Boys to Men
Much of the Bar Mitzvah texts and ceremony are naturally centered on the transition, according to the Jewish tradition, from boyhood to manhood, assuming the responsibilities of an adult and being accountable as one.
The following poem was written towards the end of the 19th century by the Nobel prize winning poet, Rudyard Kipling, as paternal advice for his son. Its words have inspired generations, celebrated as the measure of what it means to be an adult.
1. Read the poem and list the various traits he hopes for his son to acquire and those he hopes will be avoided. How do they compare to Jewish tradition?
If (by Rudyard Kipling)
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run—
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Written in an age when men and women were considered to have distinctly different destinies and roles in life, this is clearly intended for boys. In later years, offended by its decidedly masculine tone, alternative versions where written for female readers.
Read the two versions and think:
2. Which do you relate to more?
3. Is Kipling's version really applicable to boys?
4. Should Stanton's version really be considered as female-only?
Submit completed activity to: submit@rabbiabaamar.com